


Pearls on Roses

by trashsshi



Category: NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Allegory to Patriarchy, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Heat Cycles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gender Issues, Hiding, M/M, Romance, Self-Indulgent, Slow Burn, Workplace Relationship, subversion, taeyong and taemin are best friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:35:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27062032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashsshi/pseuds/trashsshi
Summary: Taeyong has irregular heats, so he's been on suppressants all his life. He is beta-passing and would like to keep it that way, since he's entering an alpha-dominated field of work. But his attraction to Yukhei might be strong enough to suck him into emotional heat, suppressants be damned.In other words, emotional yearning and sexual arousal are equally dangerous where Taeyong's heat is concerned, and Taeyong's attraction to Yukhei poses a danger to every other aspect of his life.
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 11
Kudos: 72





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Owlvis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owlvis/gifts).



Chapter Summary: Taeyong thought Taemin would talk sense into him over the phone, like he usually does, but Taemin comes over to hang.

Taeyong has an unhealthy habit of swiping through DateMate when he has no intentions of either dating or consequently mating. He generally avoids alphas. They fill him with a dread that has nothing to do with their hormones of intimidation- Taeyong is always on suppressants, so he isn’t affected by alpha hormones. The dread is a blanket fear: Taeyong, like most omegas, thinks of any alpha presence as threatening. Alphas dominate society not only structurally and institutionally. Alphas subjugate through violence. And the culture of subjugation allows alphas to practice violence with impunity. Taeyong doesn’t need hormones to tell him to beware of alpha bastards when they’re so out in the open about their alpha-supremacist bullshit.

Taeyong avoids alphas, but he swipes through their profiles on DateMate as though to remind himself that they suck. “I like my omegas the way I like my meat: young, lean and cooked over heat,” says one bio. “I’ll use your tears to give your asshole extra slick,” says another. Alphas seem unable to say anything sexual without making it sound menacing.

Sighing, Taeyong quits the app and puts his phone on the cabinet. Then he rolls over on his back to stare at the ceiling, thinking. If he’s honest with himself, whenever he swipes it’s not for morbid reasons alone. Even when he’s swiping from horror to horror there’s a tiny bit of hope in him. Because a tiny part of Taeyong wants to romance an alpha boyfriend, even if the rest of him knows that’s a terrible idea. Taeyong knows he can never find what he’s looking for. He wants a gentle, protective, respectful alpha who doesn’t shoot into aggression on reflex. That kind of alpha doesn’t exist, and even if he did, trying to find him would involve interacting with alphas- and that’s stupidly dangerous in itself.

Usually when Taeyong falls into this dangerous mood of yearning he calls Taemin. Taemin always talks sense into him, and Taemin’s very existence as an omega who has categorically refused to date alphas and also categorically refused to pander to alphas in his dancing makes it impossible not to listen to him. It would be disrespectful not to follow his advice, really. In their world where everything an omega does is traditionally supposed to pander to alphas, Taemin walks his rebellious talk. Most of his fans are similarly rebellious omegas, betas who are either rebellious or just there for the aesthetic, and a smattering of alphas who are definitely only there for the aesthetic but who don’t show themselves- grudging, closet fans.

Taeyong thought Taemin would talk sense into him over the phone, like he usually does, but Taemin comes over to hang.

“I thought you’d be too busy for me to see you,” says Taeyong, resisting the impulse to throw his arms around Taemin.

“I chose you over a nap,” says Taemin, smiling an angelic smile that belies his words and seems to outline him in a beatific halo. Taeyong presses his chin into the pillow he’s hugging, watching Taemin kick his guest slippers off to jump on his bed.

“So,” says Taemin, getting straight to the point, “You’re wistful for the experience of alpha dick. Nostalgic for alpha dick. When you’ve never even had alpha dick. You’re pining over dick you never had.  _ Again.” _

Taeyong pouts, feeling mulish.

“I told you to get a good-quality vibrating dildo to simulate-”

“I did,” says Taeyong, “it’s not cutting it. It’s not enough.”

“You bought the same one I recommended?”

“Yes.”

Taemin’s eyes widen. “And it’s not enough?”

“It isn’t,” confirms Taeyong. Taemin sags with bewilderment.

“But why?”

“It’s not just alpha dick I want,” says Taeyong ruefully. “It’s an alpha-”

“Don’t say  _ alpha boyfriend, _ I’ll puke.”

Taeyong respectfully holds his silence.

“This is a crisis,” Taemin says, getting up from the bed to pace around the room. “Do you know why I came here in person for you? Because I was worried as fuck. And my worries have proven to be well-founded.” He deadpans at Taeyong. “You’ve got your pup-face on.” The pup-face was when Taeyong’s eyebrows slanted upwards and his eyes became even more like soulful lakes than usual. The pup-face was usually an involuntary reflex that Taeyong didn’t even realise he was doing. “It’s not fair for a catboy to have a pup-face in his repertoire,” Taemin used to say. “Catboy,” like “bitch,” was a term used by alphas to degrade and objectify, but the omegas had reclaimed the term since.

“You have graduated college and are going into the workplace- and your field is alpha-dominated, Taeyong. You’ve been beta-passing for most of your life, but you won’t have many betas in the workplace within whose ranks you can hide; there’s going to be alphas everywhere and you’ll have  _ nowhere to hide. _ This is the absolute worst time for you to pine over an alpha boyfriend you’ve never even had. It’s going to be more challenging for you to beta-pass if you’re pining; it’s not just sexual thoughts that can trigger hormone fluctuations, you know. It’s emotional cravings too. You could undo whatever good your suppressants are doing.”

Taeyong blinks back tears, a rising dread making itself known in the pit of his stomach. Taemin holds Taeyong’s face in his hands and Taeyong can see his own face, and all the worry Taemin spoke of, in Taemin’s pupils. “You’re beautiful and brave and just… you deserve much better than an alpha,” says Taemin sadly. “I know it’s not easy to stop wanting them despite the anger, the fear. It took me years. But you’ll be safer and happier without one, Taeyong. You’ll find other kinds of love to keep you warm. It’s not worth the gamble, alpha-love.”

“You’re right,” mumbles Taeyong, but he’s looking down, away from the intensity of sincerity in Taemin’s eyes. He can’t handle it.

“You’re gambling with stakes like your body, your autonomy, your personhood, your very life.” Taemin’s voice breaks. Taeyong’s heart breaks. After a long minute Taeyong looks up into Taemin’s eyes again, the tears he sees there mirroring his own.

“You can’t even set the terms of your own gamble.”

Taeyong nods, closes his eyes so that the rest of the tears are held within. “It’s not worth it. I won’t take the chance, because it’s not worth it,” he says. It’s what Taemin wants to hear. And it’s what Taeyong wants to believe.

Taemin sighs, and he sounds relieved and exhausted. They hug, and when Taeyong starts sobbing, small shudders and hiccups, Taemin strokes his head and pats his back, murmuring, “You’ll be okay.” And it’s true. Taemin leaves, and Taeyong is okay. He uninstalls DateMate and reflects that once he starts working he’ll be too busy to think of dating anyway. There’s surely ways to be happy without romance. Never mind that Taeyong wants to experience romance just once, see what it’s all about, even if romance doesn’t stay an enduring part of his life and he finds afterward that he can be happy without it. Surely there’s ways to be happy and fulfilled even without  _ ever _ having romance. Taeyong’s whines of  _ just one alpha, just one loving alpha is all I ask _ \- they’ll have to stop.

Plenty of people went through life without ever being in love or being fulfilled in love of the romantic kind. Taeyong believes he’ll be one of those people.

Now Taeyong just has to find a way to live with it. Not just resign himself, but embrace it.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong remembers his winning job interview and readies himself to face his first day at work.

Taeyong’s first day of work. He’s even more nervous than he was during the job search and interview process, which makes no sense- well, maybe it does. During the interviews Taeyong only had to deal with a small panel of alphas, and only the final interview was in-person. It was nerve-wracking and uncomfortable, but the interviewers never detected any omega vibes from Taeyong, and Taeyong did his best to behave as though he was indifferent to their alphaness, to what they represented in society and how they related to the other groups (omegas and betas): in short, he wanted to come across as a politically indifferent beta. “Keep your head down, stay out of trouble,” his mother used to tell him growing up, but he never saw the anxiety in her eyes abate. Because he was omega, his loved ones always worried for him. The only way he’d found to ‘keep his head down and stay out of trouble’ was by disguising himself as a beta who didn’t give a fuck about either alphas or omegas.

Now, though, he’ll be entering the headquarters of SynergyDev, a rising company that made video games. He wants to work at this company because its games are different from the ones usually marketed towards alphas (which tend to have highly objectified omega character design, and typically omega characters are like sexual rewards within the games). SynergyDev’s games, on the other hand, have character designs that are less discriminatory and gross; and many of their games don’t focus on violence and sex but on puzzles, stories, creativity and healing. The general tendency of hardcore gamers on Youtube and Twitch is to scoff at SynergyDev’s games, because the gaming community is overwhelmingly alpha. Taeyong thinks SynergyDev is a much-needed breath of fresh air. The gaming community needs to be more diverse and welcoming.

These are all thoughts Taeyong did not dare to say during the interviews, though; airing radical thoughts would not be the way to ‘keep his head down and stay out of trouble.’ Instead, the alphas asked what drew him to character design, and Taeyong talked about how his major in college had initially been fashion design. “I’ve always done art, and I used to love fabric painting and modifying my denim jackets- stuff like that. I entered college and my major was initially fashion design, because I wanted to do something in the art field, and I wanted to work with clothes and textiles- but then there was this one time I was sick and I played Animal Crossing.”

A couple of the interviewers snickered, while the others maintained their poker faces. Taeyong had expected worse, honestly. He shrugged and explained, “I’m a beta, and I’ve never played a game so calming. It’s like it was made for me.”

The interviewers nodded, some of their expressions cleared. Betas were stereotyped as being calm, unruffled, and unemotional, because betas weren’t governed by hormonal fluctuations and passions, unlike alphas and omegas. 

“Still, that game is very cutesy, isn’t it?” said one of the interviewers.

Taeyong loves the vibrant, nurturing cutesiness of Animal Crossing, but again, this was not the time or place to say so. “That’s actually what got me thinking about game design,” he said, “because I enjoyed the gameplay, concept, and everything else about Animal Crossing, but not the cutesy design. Of course, the design works well for the kind of game it is, but there’s a lot of people that would enjoy the kind of game it is but who’d be put off by the design.”

A few nods from the interviewers. Taeyong took a breath and continued, “I found a few games by SynergyDev, like Magnolia Online and Rifflecraft, which hit that middle spot for me. I never took to the alpha-typical games like shooters, and, Vice City and the like-”

“Yeah, the 3D bitches would do nothing for you,” interrupted an interviewer with a guffaw. The 3D bitches here referred to omega characters, and the interruption was unprofessional in the extreme, but Taeyong forced a thin smile on his face and continued, “Yes, well, alpha-typical games make it really obvious that they’re specifically targeting alphas, and I just think SynergyDev’s games are broader in their appeal. They’re also more innovative. They’re great at capturing segments of the market that are left open in the gaming industry as a whole.”

“That’s certainly what we aim to do,” said an interviewer. “How do you think you can help our company, in that regard?”

Taeyong swallowed, his hands fluttering nervously on his lap. “I’m a beta, and I think that ties in with what I said about the middle ground earlier- I think game design is important in trying to market a game to a wider segment. And I think character design is especially important in giving a game wider appeal- an omega playing a videogame would not be able to relate to it if the protagonist is a cookie-cutter alpha.”

“An omega playing a videogame,” repeated an interviewer in a whisper, with a snicker.

“I imagine omegas play games like Animal Crossing,” said Taeyong, his voice marginally rising in volume. “Because of the cutesy design.”

“I get what you mean by character design, but character customisation is practically universal in games.” Apart from customising the protagonist, who was supposed to be the vehicle of the player, many games also allowed players to customise omega characters according to the player’s preferences, for what the (alpha) player considered attractive in omegas. Even if they were pixels.

“The character customisation systems are usually based on the assumption that the player is alpha, and also that the player wants a particular kind of mainstream gaming experience,” said Taeyong. “I think that if character design was more… ambiguous, that would make games less alpha-centred. Maybe I’m saying this because I’m a beta. Maybe that’s why I keep going on about a middle spot, a middle ground, but I think games can be less alpha-centred and still not leave alphas out. They can be more inclusive of everybody.”

Taeyong landed the job after that. He did excellently in the interview, so perhaps it was to be expected, but there had been moments during the interview when the condescension of the alphas had bled through- even if it wasn’t really directed to him since he passed off as beta. Those moments shook Taeyong, and he doesn’t know how he kept his head despite those moments enough to indirectly bite back with his answers. But his mother is proud of him, and when Taeyong recounted the interview to Taemin, Taemin was all, “You showed them!”

“I suppose I did,” Taeyong giggled at the time.

Today, Taeyong looks at himself in the mirror. SynergyDev wants him to dress ‘smart casual’, and that just means no pyjamas or sweatpants, so he’s wearing jeans and a baggy t-shirt. He squares his shoulders. “You showed them, and you’ll show them again,” he tells his reflection. He feels silly doing it, but it does seem to take his confidence up a notch.

He knows the place will be crawling with alphas, but he’s got his supplements and he’s got a cool head. He’s going to convince everyone that he’s a beta- more reserved and nervous than betas tend to be, maybe, but a beta all the same. He’s going to do the work he enjoys doing, that he is excited to be doing. The knowledge that he would not have landed the job if the interviewers had known he was an omega makes him determined to succeed.

  
  



	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong's first day at work is both exciting and unnerving.

When Taeyong enters the company building on the first day of work, he is awed. Not because it’s huge or impressive- SynergyDev is a small company after all- but because it’s so colourful and modern. It doesn’t look anything like a boring, stuffy office because the stationery, people’s keyboards, even their cubicles are all colourful and everyone seems to freely decorate their spaces. They decorate themselves too, and Taeyong comes across people wearing alternative fashion, people who dyed their hair interesting colours, or had vibrant tattoos. Self-expression is the modus operandi here and it makes Taeyong swallow hard, knowing that he is here with the intention to hide himself rather than express himself freely.

“I’m not going to introduce you to every department. You’ll get familiar with them on the job anyway,” says Lee Jinhyuk, the alpha who is showing him around. Jinhyuk takesTaeyong straight to his department, Game Art Design.

“Okay, here’s your boss. Ten, here’s the newbie,” says Jinhyuk, and Taeyong bows. 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Lee Taeyong. I’ll be in your care from now on.”

“I’ll take good care of you,” says Ten teasingly. Taeyong raises his head and almost does a double-take. He scans the rest of the room: there are only two other men apart from Ten, and those two men are unmistakably alphas.

But Ten… definitely isn’t an alpha. _He must be a beta,_ thinks Taeyong, because there is no way those two other men agreed to work under an omega, surely? 

“I’m an omega,” says Ten loudly, crossing his arms. “Yes, I’m your boss. Yes, we exist.”

“I’m- I’m sorry,” stutters Taeyong.

Ten smiles, softening. “Don’t be. I know it’s unexpected. Everyone is surprised when they find out. I’m the only omega in the company.” He goes back to his cubicle. Jinhyuk gives Taeyong a little push (that has Taeyong’s hackles rising, but he hides it). Taeyong shuffles over to Ten’s desk.

Ten has potted succulents on his desk, with pretty crystals in the pots. Seeing them is somehow heartening. Taeyong mumbles, “How come?”

Ten doesn’t seem offended when he answers. Rather, he seems to understand. “I was one of the founders of the company, technically. Bunch of alphas got together to make games but didn’t have anyone to do the art for the games. They approached me.”

“And you went along with them?” gasps Taeyong.

“Well, I was already mated by then, so my hormones had stabled. There’s no way I’d have taken the risk if I wasn’t already mated.”

Taeyong nods.

“Anyway, the alphas have all become CEOs and Directors, while I’m just a Senior Team Lead… it’s like this is my place. No higher.”

Taeyong wants to say that it’s unfair but he’s also supposed to be an indifferent beta, so he’s floundering for what to say. “Um.”

“It’s fine,” says Ten, maddeningly understanding. “I don’t have the capital to start my own company and nobody else in this industry makes the kinds of games I like working on. That’s why you’re here too, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” says Taeyong, and immediately wonders whether he said something wrong. He’s sure of Ten but what if the other alphas in the department relay their conversation to the higher ups or something?

“Nobody can fire you without my permission, so you don’t have to pretend you’re minding your own beta business all the time,” twinkles Ten. “Not within this department.”

Taeyong smiles, then glances around at the other alphas, who actually meet his eyes and nod. Taeyong is flabbergasted.

“I’m not likely to keep any alpha supremacists on my team, you know,” says Ten, yet again practically reading Taeyong’s mind. “These guys are chill.”

“We are,” says one of them, with a huge grin at Taeyong. He’s really tall and tanned, has a deep bark of a voice, huge sparkly brown eyes and brown hair. 

“Introduce yourselves,” Ten says, “and we can discuss work things like what games we’ve been assigned and how we divide the work and stuff.”

The tall, tanned guy’s name is Yukhei. He is intimidatingly handsome and he grins intimidatingly wide. He’s also really enthusiastic but surprisingly his high energy doesn’t leave Taeyong feeling drained.

The other guy is called Johnny and he’s actually chill, in the sense of being calm and laid-back. Not like Yukhei’s high energy. They both actually seem nice. They’re huge though. Taeyong has to consciously try not to shrink back from them when they talk to him.

They put their chairs in a circle with a little wheelable whiteboard in the centre, and take turns explaining a newbie run-down to Taeyong. Their department, Game Art Design, only works on the art. The processing and rendering of graphics is handled by the Graphics department and game design is also handled by a different department. “I focused a lot on digital art and illustration in college, so this is good,” says Taeyong eagerly.

Johnny and Ten work together mostly on Rifflecraft, although Ten supervises the artwork on all games to some extent. Rifflecraft is an MMOTCG, a trading card game which also releases physically collectible cards for turn-based strategy games. In the online version, cards can be alchemised into new ones through different combinations, and then used for battle. It’s super cool. And the cards are beautifully designed. Taeyong loves the game and has played it often.

Taeyong is told that he’ll be working together with Yukhei on the art for Magnolia Online, SynergyDev’s popular MMORPG. The game often introduces new avatar customisation packs as well as new areas to explore with associated quests and storylines. These new releases aren’t too frequent, but they still have their work cut out for them.

Taeyong doesn’t know how he feels about working so closely with an alpha. He’d been expecting this when he entered the company, but when he goes to his cubicle which conveniently adjoins Yukhei’s, and Yukhei grins at him, warning bells go off in his mind. _Danger Danger._

He sits in his fancy little ergonomic chair and wonders if he’s ready. Yukhei is still grinning widely at him. He is probably trying to be welcoming and approachable. But all it does is intimidate Taeyong.

“Have you played Magnolia Online before?” says Yukhei.

Taeyong trembles, probably because Yukhei’s voice rumbles like an earthquake. “A- a little?”

“You should play it regularly and become as familiar with it as possible. It also gives you a chance to play with our customers and see first-hand how they play it, which features they favour, what their ideas and opinions are. It’s market research, except it’s a lot of fun!” says Yukhei with that permanent grin on his face. 

“I’ll play it,” says Taeyong. “You’re right, it’ll be fun a-and useful for work.” Yukhei doesn’t show any sign of noticing Taeyong’s nervousness.

Johnny wheels over to them in his fancy ergonomic chair that’s actually big enough for him. That’s when Taeyong realises that their chairs are all more or less picked to fit them, size-wise. No wonder he was asked to mention his height along with his age and gender role in the job application. It makes him feel a little more like he fits here. 

Maybe that’s why, when Johnny says, “Yukhei and I have a guild on Magnolia Online. Want to join? We’ll smoothen the path for you while still encouraging you to have an authentic newbie experience,” Taeyong immediately responds, “Yes, I’d love to!”


End file.
